The Importance of Being Patient

Patience is a virtue. We all know it is. But why, exactly? Is it because it shows others that we are decent human beings? Does it enable us to listen to others without interrupting? Is it a form of inherent selflessness? The ability to listen to others could well be one form of patience. After all, some people talk a lot, and sometimes it takes patience to hear them out. So in one sense, patience is required when listening to others, but is it only required when listening to a certain kind of person? Think about a bad play for example. Is it patience that allows a person to sit quietly through to the end? And if this is patience, then is that what keeps students tied to their seats in the middle of a dry lecture? Patience must be a part of it, but I suspect in these situations, fear and respect and social norms drive our actions (or inactions) as well. 

The ability to listen to others doesn't simply stem from patience alone. In fact, if one is a truly good listener, patience shouldn't have a role to play in it at all. Patience implies that one is putting off pleasure, or withstanding some annoyance. It implies waiting. Patience is the ability to wait, and if one is simply waiting, then one is not truly listening. A conversation with a good friend is enjoyable in its own right, and the best conversations are those that we never want to end. So it stands to reason that one does not need patience when talking with a good friend, unless that friend becomes particularly annoying. 

Is there a distinction to be made between listening to someone and having a conversation? Perhaps patience best describes the difference between the two. A conversation implies balance, whereas listening involves a speaker and a listener. The listener gives their time and attention to the speaker, who is making some demands on the listener in this respect. So the listener requires patience in order to carry out their task before they continue on with their own life. Unless, of course, the listener's very purpose and goal is the act of listening itself. This may be a simple form of observation, in which case it may require no patience, unless one is waiting to hear or observe a particular idea or event.

Very well, patience is a form of waiting. Waiting for your turn, waiting for an end, waiting for the next step or a result or a question or an answer. So why is patience important? Why is it a virtue? Perhaps patience is simply the best-disguised form of waiting. Patience is waiting that does not appear to be waiting. It is composure in the face of anticipation. It is the calm before the storm. In a world so hectic and crazed, manic and unmanageable at times, patience creates at least the semblance of control. It conveys calm authority, over oneself if nothing else. A patient teacher does not get mad at a student because she knows the student will understand in time. A patient father understand that children make mistakes. A patient friend knows that you won't always be this annoying but you just have to get it all out of your system or else you'll explode and you have no one else to go to. Patience is one way we have of balancing our world, showing we are in control and that we are not afraid to take the next step. If we can have patience with ourselves, imagine what we could accomplish.